Growing Intra- and Interpersonal Intelligence

 

 

If you are someone who wants to build secure relationships without compromising your personal or professional life, then you have come to the right place.

My personal story…

There was a time when I thought I knew everything I needed to know about relationships. I studied the books, got my degrees and certifications, etc. Fast-forward 15 years, and I separated from my husband. In other words, information only gets you so far.

Irrespective of your gender, sexuality, political views, status, race, whether you’re monogamous or polyamorous, or a member of the board, whether you have failed many relationships or not, we all have the right to feel secure and safe in our personal and professional relationships.

No one needs to suffer from isolation. Being displaced from the tribe in the 21st century is like starvation in the 21st century; it is completely UNNECESSARY. Everyone is allowed to express their individuality while maintaining strong relationships. We need to ban the old idealisms of what it means to be a mother, a business owner, a person of faith, a creator, and a partner, and instead create our version of what it means to thrive.

Allow me the privilege to help you thrive. 

After over 25 years of being a therapist, nothing makes me happier than to remind clients that they get to feel they belong and are part of a community. No one should feel isolated and alone at work or in their relationship.

Relationships are simple if we break them down to trust. Whether in the boardroom or the bedroom, you need to gain a level of trust with that person. For some interpersonal conflict is only found within the workplace, while others thrive at work and feel like failures once the tie and the blouse are removed at the end of the day. The feeling of failure is most commonly found at home.

I am here to help you with both, but let’s briefly explain what happens in most personal relationships as time goes on.

You don’t need to be an electrician to understand that sparks are impermanent. 

As a psychotherapist and functional medicine practitioner who has studied the brain, brain behaviour, and nervous system, I know what neurotransmitters are involved in life-long happiness and what neurotransmitters are involved in the ‘spark’, the ‘lust’, and the physical/visual attraction. 

These neurotransmitters involved in the spark are dopamine, adrenaline, and norepinephrine. They rise and fall just like the tide, just like the cocaine, kindling, and sugar fixes. When it’s up, it’s pure ecstasy and warming, but you feel incredibly depleted, cold, and empty when it ends. 

We cannot solely rely on the spark to determine the quality of a relationship. We want a slow-burning log whose embers last well into a lifetime. When we meet our match, we want it to feel like ‘coming home’. 

After hearing the stories of my single clients and witnessing couples breaking down in my therapy room, I know how difficult relationships can be. I know how many women feel trapped in their relationships but are terrified to break free once and for all. I hear terrible stories from single clients who have been ghosted on dating apps. Poof! Just like magic, they disappear. You are chatting for one hour one day, and then the next day, they are nowhere to be found. I also listen to the men whose self-esteem is not where it should be and who are terrified by another rejection. 

I have heard it all. 

This doesn’t need to be your story anymore. The time has come for your behaviour to change and, thus, your relationship reality. I know the narratives in your mind are playing on repeat, and it’s time to end it. 

For change to happen, we need to level up our intrapersonal intelligence. Once you understand yourself better, you will be able to relate better to others, professionally and personally.

Let’s take care of yourself and your relationships once and for all.